It’s our little secret

Hi guys,

Happy Monday. I am currently sat at the Hilton hotel in Malta with my housemate. We like to come here to study sometimes because it makes us both feel like we are really successful and that we have loads of money. Na I am just kidding, we just like the coffee here. Anyway, I hope you all had a nice weekend and that you feel rested and ready for the week ahead.

Today, I am going to talk about following your dreams and being successful again. I am going to highlight the key ingredients that we need in order to be successful. And then I will explore each one in further detail. These aren’t things which I have necessarily known all my life by the way. These are things which I have learnt from experience during the times when I have been “successful” and also the times when I may have not been so much. I use abbreviated commas by the way because of course the word ‘Success’ can mean different things to different people and you can be successful in your life but not necessarily in career terms but more by being a successful wife, mother, friend etc. This is still success of course. But in this piece, I am talking about success in terms of career success. You know what I mean, ha!!. Anyway, I have worked out what it is in terms of factors that have led to my successes in life and also factors that have held me back. So here goes. The first key ingredient to success is:

Having a plan.

I do believe that we must have some kind of plan or goal so that we know where and what we are headed for. This plan will help keep us motivated and on track. I like to write a lot of my plans and aims down on paper so that I can see them in front of me which helps me to really visualise and create the outcomes in my mind. What is your plan? Be quite clear on it. And of course that plan may change a bit along the way as you and your desires change, but try and have at least one which is clear in your mind when you first start. Makes sense? Cool. (My plan is to be a full-time blogger and Writer by the way 🙂 hee hee hee).

The second and essential ingredient to success is:

Drive.

You’ve gotta have the drive. You can call it drive, you can call it motivation, you can call it whatever you like, but you simply MUST have it in order to be successful. Because without it, you simply won’t be able to make it work. It’s so easy for some people to have that ambition and determination, that ‘itch’ for success. Yet for so many others, its actually quite hard. Or perhaps many of them used to have it, but not so much anymore. Take me for example- A few years ago when I was doing standup comedy, I had so much drive and determination it was ridiculous. I was so ambitious!! Achieving and reaching my goals was literally all I cared out. And as a result, I got shit done!! Yes, it came at a price and other aspects of my life may have suffered a bit but at least I was trying and actually achieving things. I was smashing it up, relentless, focused, determined, I was on a mission. I literally made trying to be a professional standup comedian my entire life. I would spend every single night at gigs trying out all my material and I would drag myself around London and across the UK doing gigs and not coming home till about 1am most mornings. I also sacrificed a hell of a lot in that I rarely saw my friends unless they came to watch me at gigs (thank you friends:)) and my love-life very much took a back seat. I only ever dated fellow comedians on the circuit because most of the other guys quickly got bored of the fact that they only ever saw me if they came along to watch me perform! Ha! Comedy was my one and only priority. While I am not advocating that it is a good idea to sideline the people you care about obviously, if I’m honest, I do miss that devotion and dedication that I had to it. In more recent years, I just don’t feel as strong a drive for stuff anymore. It’s very irritating. Working hard and going hell for leather with things was very much part of who I was and my nature for a very long time (Stick with me guys, I know this post has turned moany and negative but there is a reason why I am telling you this). Perhaps that’s because I am a bit older now (34) and just don’t put as much pressure on myself anymore. Who knows. Anyway, I do wonder if other women/people my age feel this same very apparent decline in enthusiasm levels. It’s not a lack of lust for life by the way. I still love life and am very content with things, I just can’t really be arsed anymore when it comes to certain things. I know it sounds terrible ha!!

Anyway, the reason that I am telling you this is because even if you feel similarly, you can still achieve in life so don’t worry yourself too much about it. Even if you lack this drive and oomph that you once had, you can still make things happen and be successful in your life and I am going to tell you how. What’s important is that you firstly RECOGNISE that your mindset has shifted somewhat so that you can make changes that will help get you back on track. Do you remember what I was talking about in my last post about pretending when you have to? Pretending that you feel a certain way when you don’t necessarily so that you can get back on-board the path to success. Pretending that you are motivated, pretending you are driven, pretending you believe in yourself, pretending you love exercise, pretending you are confident. Sometimes if you don’t feel something which is preventing you from achieving something that you really want to achieve in your life, you’ve just gotta pretend that you do!! It really is that simple. It’s like when Tony Robbins talks about modeling the behaviour of other people who are successful or that have achieved something that you’d like to achieve so that you too can be successful and reap the rewards. Call it copying, call it replication, call it faking it, call it whatever you like, it really does work so give it a try.

Ingredient number 3:

Graft.

You’ve gotta put the work in. Stuff won’t go out and produce itself. You’ve gotta graft. For hours, days, months, years, the graft and commitment shouldn’t stop. If you really want to achieve big things for yourself in your life, you’ve gotta get your head down and just keep on chipping away. Even if your chips seem small at times, at least you’ll still be chipping. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that. You may find yourself stuck in a 9 to 5 job that you don’t particularly like just so you can keep yourself afloat financially while you develop and work on a hobby perhaps. Perhaps your aim and goal is to eventually turn that favourite hobby of yours into your career. It will happen. Trust me on that one. It will and can most certainly happen if you commit yourself wholeheartedly to your dream and just don’t give up on it. Don’t just abandon it when times get tough. If you want it desperately, stick with it. (I’m gonna throw Resilience in there too- very important!). And when your hard graft and efforts start producing all these wonderful results and outcomes, you’ll be so proud and amazed at yourself. And it will all have been worth it. Because you’ll be absolutely flying. Remember that.

Ingredient number 4, I believe is very very important:

Surround yourself with people on a similar success path who support & encourage you.

It is crucial that you are around people who share the same mindset as you. It’s like that Jim Rohn quote- “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. If that isn’t so ridiculously true then I don’t know what is. The people we spend the majority of our time with have a MASSIVE influence and impact on our thinking and subsequent behaviour, whether we are aware of it or not. To be honest, I didn’t realise how true this was until I briefly hung around with people who weren’t big dreamers and didn’t really have much drive or ambition. I was actually amazed at how it affected my own behaviour in that I became quite lazy, uninspired and actually quite negative in my thinking. I wasn’t even aware of it at the start. I would say that the majority of my friends throughout my life and anyone that I have ever dated have always been uber go getting, high achieving, life-loving “winners” with massive dreams and ambitions. When you are around people that are similar to you in terms of their thinking and ambition, it does wonderful things to your success path and life. Don’t ever forget that. Choose your support system very wisely. If someone you are close with is perhaps not moving in the same direction as you or has a very different mindset which is not conducive to yours, be very cautious of how much time you spend with that person. You don’t want to lose sight of your goals or your zest and enthusiasm for life.

Ingredient 5- Positivity

Sooooooooo essential to your success. Wowzers!! Staying positive throughout your plan will have a significant impact on your outcome and your life in general. If you think in a positive way, your life will appear and therefore be positive. Equally, if you allow your mind to regularly go off on negative tangents, things will not seem to be going as well for you. It is ALL in your mind. I actually find that concept very refreshing. We have the power to decide how awesome our life will seem and be to ourselves. If you think joy and happiness and success, your life will be joy and happiness and success. And of course, on the flip side, if you think doom and gloom, your life will be doom and gloom. So make the conscious decision to choose a positive mind and life. Keep all your thoughts light, hopeful and positive. If you recognise that your thoughts are going a bit off-track and beginning to sound quite negative, clock them and then replace them with more optimistic ones which support, encourage and excite you, rather than hold you back. Because this will have a huge contribution to your success and your life in general. When things get tough on your journey to success and nothing seems to be going your way, don’t allow yourself to go down a negativity spiral. It can be very damaging. Recognise it then change it. Positive mind, positive life. Put it into practice today.

Ingredient 6:

Feed your body with goodness.

As important as it is to feed your mind with goodness, you must also make sure that you fuel your body with stuff that promotes your health and long-term wellbeing. This will, believe it or not play a big part in your journey to achieving your goals and being successful. Because when we feed our bodies with healthy foods not only will it affect us physically in that we will be full of energy, it will also have a positive effect on our brains and how we think. Eating healthy food, limiting alcohol and sugar, exercising, relaxing, keeping stress to a minimum and quitting any habits which are damaging to our health will play a big part in what we are producing and therefore our successes. If we choose to eat in a healthy way, exercise regularly and keep ourselves generally in good health, we will feel so much better in ourselves and about ourselves and we will have the strength both physically and mentally to get stuff done. If we on the other hand, eat crap everyday, smoke and lead an overall unhealthy lifestyle, we will probably feel sluggish, unmotivated, uninspired and not a big fan of ourselves. And as a result, we will be less likely to make big plans for our lives. Remember that it is all very much part of the same picture of success. If you create one piece of the picture, you are far more likely to be able to create the others. Of course, this all very much comes back to self-love and only wanting the best for yourself. When you love and rate yourself, you’ll make better choices about how to feed your body and your mind. If you are not a massive fan of yourself and you find it hard at times to shower yourself with love and support, just pretend that you do. Pretend that you think that you are the dogs bo****ks.  Because I am telling you that you really are and you can achieve absolutely anything you want in your life.

I hope these factors will help you on your journey to making all of your wildest dreams come true. Wishing you a productive day and speak soon,

Hannah xx

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